Husband of One Wife

Both in I Timothy 3:2 and 3:12, the qualification of the "husband of one wife" is both for the Bishop (or Overseer) as well as the Deacon. The term signifies that one holding either position or function in the Church must be married. They must be "the husband of one wife." The reason for this is very important. If you look down in the text of I Timothy to I Timothy 3:4-5, we see the main thrust of the Bishop’s qualifications is that he must rule his household well and have his household in submission to him. The reason this is the main emphasis in this teaching is because the way an elder leads his household will be the same way he leads the Church. The Church is made up of individual people and individual families. When the Church comes together, it comes together as a family in the Lord. The Elder and Deacon must have experience in leading his individual family, so that he may lead the large family of the Church, the Body of Christ.

The phrase "the husband of one wife" refers to a current state of faithfulness to one woman that he is currently married to. The proof of this is exhibited by two things: First of all the verb of this sentence is "to be the husband of one wife." To be is a present infinitive and refers to that which is current. If Paul meant one single monogamous marriage for life, he would have used the perfect tense, "to have been the husband of one wife." The perfect tense indicating the duration of his life.

Secondly, the same phrase is used in I Timothy 5:9 for widows who are 60 years old and over. In this text the words are reversed, she is to be the "wife of one man." This use is a perfect example of why "husband of one wife" or "wife of one man" does not refer to a divorced situation. The qualification for the Church to help and receive those 60-years old and older is "she must be the wife of one man."

In I Timothy 5:11, Paul deals with the younger women who are under 60-years of age and should not be taken into the care of the Church. In Verse 14 Paul said he desired them to marry. So here is a situation where a young woman, under the age of 60, has been married once and her husband has died. But she is under the age of 60-years old so the Church cannot take her in and the Church is directed to guide her in the direction of remarriage. If the phrase, "wife of one man" in Verse 9 meant "one man and one man only for life," then Paul’s instructions in verse 14 for the younger women to remarry would make them ineligible to be received by the Church at the age of 60 or over. If the second husband dies, and they were over 60-years old, then they would have been married to two men during their lifetime and not one. If it means one man and one man only, the Church could not receive her because she has now been married twice and has had two men as husbands. Therefore Paul would be disqualifying them by encouraging them to remarry, which, of course, he was not doing.

The intent of all of these texts is to express faithfulness – I Corinthians 4:2. To serve the Lord and to represent the Lord in a leadership capacity in the Church, an Elder or Deacon must be experiencing the family struggle and have been faithful to lead and guide his family in the things of the Lord.

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